How to Deal With Angry People? ;Yesterday, we touched on the subject of anger. Not our own, but one that is directed towards us. It’ll be great that you go through this post, before reading this concluding part :)
Basically, all of us; at some point or the other have experienced anger directed towards us. It is a difficult situation to be in. Being at the receiving end of guilt attacks, angry outbursts or cold behavior-drains out the very happiness from our lives.
If you are going through this feeling, or see anyone go through this feelings-here is what you should do :
Stop Getting Negatively Affected by That Anger
Identify and acknowledge to yourself that the person is angry. Anything that a person will say or do, will be in that angry state. All of us, every single one of us, become mean when we are angry.
Just don’t pay too much attention to their words and actions right now.
Like we said yesterday, even you lash out when angry. Later on, when we see the light, we realize and apologize/feel sorry. This is not that time for them. If they are lashing out and bothering you, YOU STOP getting bothered.
If you DO get bothered, you will get hurt, think too much about it and turn angry yourself.
Totally not the solution!
Give the Person A Patient Hearing
And I say do this, ONLY when the person matters to you in YOUR life. If the person doesn’t matter to you, the only reason to be with such a person would be to protect them from hurting themselves.
So, in these two situations, just hear the person out.
It is very important to let the person relieve all their thoughts , angers and frustrations.
This does two things :
a. When we are done speaking our part, THEN is the only time that we are willing to listen. So, a small opportunity opens up, in which the person will actually listen to what you say/advise.
b. It gives you an insight into the real reasons behind their anger. This helps you, to logically counter those reasons and basically help the person see the new light.
You Keep Your Priorities Straight
It is very easy to get sidetracked and involved in emotional upheavals. We all are good people, and we do get involved. But, for the sake of our own happiness, we must not lose sight of what we want in our lives.
At every point, speak to yourself, know yourself, what YOU want. Never lose yourself because you got affected by what someone said to you. No matter what the circumstance, be honest with yourself. Keep sight of your lifelong happiness.
This is why, it is even more important, to NOT let anyone’s behavior affect you. It messes up with your peace of mind and you screw up your own life decisions.
Step Back :
You did your bit, you gave advise most of your work is done. Now let the person think over what you said. Let them see their life and take their own decisions. You cannot keep on trying to direct someone if they are not listening to you, even if you are right.
Accept the fact, that everyone…including you…listens to anyone’s advises, only when they want to. You push anyone too much, they will push you away.
Not everyone is as strong as you maybe are. People pursue their momentary peace of mind. Its a fact. It is foolish, but its a fact.
Don’t be an unnecessary source of emotional upheaval, for anyone. When they are more receptive, they will understand themselves.
Meanwhile, you try and be that calm oasis; that survives within a desert!
Have a great day !! ;)